Thursday, March 29, 2012

Why I Love My Husband

Because he brought me this on Tuesday night, after the LUF was confirmed:


Swedish Fish flavor. I don't know how they do it, but it tastes just like them!! :)

Sunday, March 25, 2012

Not looking good... UPDATED AGAIN

UPDATE 3/27:
The scan this morning showed that the follicle on the left (and as I understood from the technician), and one on the right were more complex. I don't know if this means they bleed internally, but I have another LUF cycle. On both the Cytotec and the HCG injection. I'm not sure what to think... emotionally I've been a wreck these last few days. I knew in my heart on Sunday when the follicle hadn't ruptured that I was going to have another LUF. Poor DH has been putting up with a lot. I didn't even bother with eye makeup this morning since I knew it would be gone before I got up to PA. Ugh. I do have to go for another scan tomorrow, as Dr. S asked that I go twice to see what happens the second day. The nurse said that they are treating several women at the office who are having LUFs. It sounds like they are trying to figure out what to do with us. I'm going to continue doing more research on them and the treatment of them (have any of you been successfully treated by Dr. H for these?) and DH and I will be doing a lot of talking in the next few days about what to do next. I know at least in May and June I'll be taking a break; with so many family plans going on those months. I won't be able to get in with my new doctor until July. Prayer buddy, please pray for our discernment on how to proceed! Thank you to all of you though, for your kind comments and prayers. I know I'd be even worse off if it weren't for you! :)

UPDATE 3/26: The scan this morning showed the follicle was still there. In fact, there were 2 on my left ovary and 2 on my right. I'm going up to PA again tomorrow...


What an insane weekend. First, when DH and I left mass on Saturday morning, we were driving his car. Not a mile from the church, his car stalled at a light. It was really bizarre. We ended up pulling into a parking lot - it wouldn't hold an idle - and then ended up taking it to the car place near our house.... where my car was! I had dropped it off for an oil change on Friday night. It took them about an hour - including a delay for an oil filter that they didn't have in stock. I was going insane. First, because I was trying desperately to find a phone number for the outpatient imaging clinic I was going to - I don't even know how many numbers I tried before finally giving up. I even called the hospital in the hopes that they could give me a number. All I got was the generic recording about making appointments and the hours from Monday thru Friday. I knew that the clinic closed at 12. I also knew they would call if I hadn't shown, but the only number they had was our home number. NOT my cell. Arghhhh!! I knew I could go to the hospital for a scan if I didn't make it... which we didn't. We arrived at the imaging center 10 minutes before it closed to find out that the tech had just left. We went to the hospital... and waited an hour and a half. The tech who would have done my scan at the outpatient clinic ended up coming it to do it because they were so bombarded with ER patients.

The scan showed that my follicle had shrunk, and there was a bit of a ring around it... which she thought indicated it would rupture soon.

This morning (Sunday, CD15) the scan showed that the follicle had grown. It was under 2.0 cm on Saturday morning... today it was over 3.0. Well, that explains the pains I was feeling most of yesterday afternoon and evening, but I guess they weren't ovulation pains.

I'm really thinking its going to be another LUF.

Today was not a good day. I think if it weren't for all your prayers, and knowing that I'm not in this alone, I would have gone insane. As it is, I know I am so blessed to have an amazingly understanding husband who is. my. rock.

Prayer buddy... I'm offering this up for you!!

And to my prayer buddy... please pray that whatever I see tomorrow, I will have peace. I don't have much right now.

And, one question - any of you that have taken an HCG injection before, did you have crazy anger/depressive mood swings? Obviously, it could be that it looks like I'm not ovulating - that's enough to drive any IF girl nuts, when all signs have indicated for years that I am... but still, even DH said "Where is this coming from??"

More tomorrow...

Friday, March 23, 2012

It's time for HCG!

Please step up your prayers! The follicle today measured 2.0, so tonight I'll take the HCG shot. In all chaos of making sure I got it in time, I ended up coming home today to find a SECOND dose in the mailbox. I called to make sure it would be fine if I kept it... but I told the pharmacist I'd send it back if the first one worked, haha! I talked with one of the fertility care nurses today and she said that the follicle should rupture this weekend, or it will turn into another LUF. I'll need to go tomorrow and maybe Sunday to PA to check. So I need your prayers! Come on, HCG, do your thing!! :)

Happy Friday, everyone!

Wednesday, March 21, 2012

Follicular Ultrasound Series... Round 3

So this round is proving to be even more interesting than the last 2! Daily trips to PA began yesterday, and I'll probably have to continue going through next Monday-ish. Yesterday (Tuesday) there was quite a bit of excitement. On Monday I decided that it would probably be a good idea to have one of the nurses at Dr. S's office administer my HCG shot the first time around since I was pretty nervous about doing it right. It was a good idea, but I forgot to actually call the office to ask. So Tuesday morning I was trying to get in touch with them on my drive up to see if it was possible (I had the goods with me). Of course, since I had no idea what my follicle size would be, I wasn't even sure if I would need to get it that day. I told them I'd call afterwards to see what the size was. At the appointment I had a tech I'd had before, but only once. (Most of them know me by name now!) She told me she saw 5 follicles (yay!) and one was bigger than the others. At the end of the appointment she told me it was 2.2, almost 2.3 cm. I think I asked her 3 times to confirm it was that big. As soon as I got out, I called Dr. S's office again, and they said to come on over. The nurses in the fertility care office were not going to be there until 2 pm... and I could not afford to wait. So, one of other nurses was super nice, and explained everything in detail to me (although she was following the directions since she had never done it) so I could repeat it next cycle if necessary. I got the shot, it wasn't painful at all (she put it in my stomach - I thought that would hurt a lot, but I could barely feel it. It was just slightly itchy afterwards, for a few minutes). No problem... I can do this on my own!

When I got home, I called and emailed the office because I realized I had no idea when I was supposed to go back for the next scan. One of the nurses called later in the afternoon and said I would need to go this morning (Wed) and daily until the follicle (hopefully!!) ruptures.

A little while later she called to clarify some things....

My 2.2-2.3 cm follicle? Nope... that measurement was my ovary. My follicle was 1.7. The size needed for the HCG trigger shot was 1.9. Uh... oops!! But, it became somewhat of a comedy of errors when she informed me that the nurse had given me a diluted version... 1/10th of what I was supposed to receive. Apparently, it wasn't a big deal, because a small dose of HCG can be used to help a follicle grow. But, it was a big deal because I could no longer use what I had and needed to get more for a full dose.

So... last night I was frantically trying to get ahold of a compound pharmacy to see if they could overnight the HCG should I need it today. No luck... they were all closed by the time everything was figured out at the office and the nurses were able to get back to me. And I was kind of stuck until the scan this morning which would reveal if the follicle had grown enough for the full dose HCG.

The scan this morning showed the follicle was not quite 1.9 cm yet. Whew! And I was able to order another round of HCG (overnight fees being $30ish, ouch) to be delivered tomorrow.

I have no idea what is going to come out of this cycle, but despite all the chaos, I think I'm handling it fine. I keep reminding myself that the goal is worth it. And prayer buddy, I'm offering it all up for you!!!!

And to my prayer buddy... please pray that the HCG arrives tomorrow as planned and that the follicle grows and ruptures just like a good little follicle should! :)

Sunday, March 18, 2012

Why I Love My Husband


Because as I write this... it's 10:30 at night, my DH just got home from a soccer game and he is cleaning out the clogged garbage disposal. He took part of the pipes apart, has a piece in hand and he's cleaning out egg shells and sweet potato shavings/peels with a fork. The gunk was packed in there. Packed. Ugh.

I am more than happy to clean toilets when he deals with things like this!!!

Friday, March 9, 2012

HWFD?: Pork Tenderloin with Balsamic Cherry Sauce


Pork Tenderloin with Balsamic Cherry Sauce
(or How-to-have-your-Honey-ask-"Honey-What's-for-dinner?"-with-great-enthusiam :) )

It's from this cookbook.

1 Tbsp EVOO
1 1/2 lb Pork tenderloin
Salt & pepper - to taste
1 cup chicken broth
1/4 cup balsamic vinegar
1 cup unsweetened cherries (I've used cranberries too - they're also delicious!)
1 sprig rosemary (I've only used dried - I used between 1/4 and 1/2 tsp in the photo below)
1 head cauliflower

Heat the oil in a saute pan, season pork with salt & pepper and sear on both sides for about 5-8 minutes or until browned. Add the remaining ingredients and cook for another 20-25 minutes, turning occasionally.

I didn't follow my own advice and make enough for 2 meals. Oops! But we had a tons of cherries!!

I serve this over mashed cauliflower. I buy a head of cauliflower, chop it up and boil or steam it (I've done it both ways) until tender, then mash it with a potato masher.

This is super easy, super yummy and makes your house smell fabulous!! :)

Enjoy!

Tuesday, March 6, 2012

This & That

All I have in my head lately are posts concerning food! I spent most of today cooking (an egg & bacon frittata for breakfasts tomorrow and Thursday) and meatballs that we eat for snacks. (Oh, how I miss the ease of grabbing some string cheese from the fridge!) I'll try to post a few more recipes later this week.

Fun stuff lately... DH and I went skiing this past weekend in PA with his brother and SIL. We had a FANTASTIC time! It was great to get away - I don't even think I thought about my LUF or the craziness of it all once. Yay! Such a needed break. My SIL and I are both beginners - me on skis, her on a snowboard. DH and his brother are a little more accomplished having grown up in Maine. We rented a cute little condo that was a perfect size for the 4 of us, was within walking distance of the slopes, and had a kitchen that was clean and equipped with enough that we could prepare our meals. We're hoping to make it an annual trip.

It was... uh... very cold!!!

In addition to getting together with DH's brother & SIL, my twin sisters are coming down this weekend for a visit. Then, next weekend, DH's Mom & Dad will be in town! I don't know that we'll be traveling until May for my sister's bridal shower, so I'm very glad to have family coming to us!

One of the sisters (V) coming down is the bride-to-be. The other sister (R) told me on the phone last week that V said she hoped she didn't get pregnant before we were chosen to be adoptive parents. R said  the whole family felt that way... it breaks my heart. What should be looked forward to with joy and excitement causes fear, pain and sadness. I'm grateful that she is so sensitive to my feelings, but I wish more than anything it didn't have to be the case. 

On a happier note, I'm working on an exciting present for V's bridal shower! I'll share details once it's finished! :)

Off to finish dinner! We're having Salmon with Citrus Salsa Verde, which I know I posted before... seriously... if you like salmon, make this, make this, make this!!

Happy Tuesday, everyone! :)


Thursday, March 1, 2012

Another LUF

Dr. S called last night (bless that man; he called after 9:30 and apologized for the late call as it was a "long day at the office"). Sheesh. I told him it wasn't a problem!!!

I had another LUF. Dr. S said the follicle grew to a mature size faster this time than last cycle, so the scan on 2/27 was later than needed to catch it. Next month, I'll start scans a few days earlier, start the Cytotec earlier and will also take the HCG trigger shot. I told DH he was going to administer it! :) I got allergy shots for years so I'm not all that concerned. Plus... it seems that for some of you the HCG trigger shot led to very positive results, right? :)

It makes me wonder though... 2 cycles in a row, both stimulated... have I ever ovulated?? And why on earth do my cycles appear to be "normal" if they're anovulatory???
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