G's birth story, Part 2

To read Part 1, go here.

After my mom told the family she would name baby girl, we laughed and told everyone we would have a name for them by the evening. We just wanted to see her one more time. Then we asked my mom what name she would give her. DH was in the kitchen area eating and feeding C his breakfast and I was down the hall fixing my hair. She started by telling us this story:

The week before Easter I was at one of the local parishes for confession. While I was waiting in line, I saw what appeared to be a tapestry of the image of the Divine Mercy. As I looked closer, I realized that in each square of fabric was an image of an unborn baby. Nearby was a sheet that asked people to name the unborn babies--babies who had been aborted. Since it wasn't my parish, I didn't write down a name, but as I stood there, I thought about what name I would give one of the babies. All of a sudden, the name G came to my mind. It wasn't a name I had thought about before, but I thought it was perfect. And then I thought, wouldn't it be something if (here she named DH & me) we named the baby G! I know you (DH & me) have never discussed names with me, but I thought it was such a pretty name. I thought wouldn't it be pretty to have her name be "G.G." Then I thought about it, and I didn't like "G.G" as a nickname, so I decided "C" would be a better middle name. "G. C." was better.

At this point in the story, I was glad I was in the other room and not trying to keep a straight face! I went in, looked at DH wondering if he wanted to reveal her name. We decided not to (although apparently my mom saw "the look" but then quickly dismissed it).

After breakfast, DH & I headed back to the hospital while my mom spent the rest of the morning with C. We decided that later in the day, DH would bring C & my mom to the hospital so they could both meet her.

We stayed in the family waiting room after we arrived at the hospital and gave baby girl her next feeding and watched while her hearing screening was done. It was a quiet day, holding and feeding her, watching her sleep and briefly open her eyes.

Mid-afternoon, DH returned to the hotel to pick up C and my mom. I waited while baby girl slept peacefully. When they arrived, DH brought C over to the bassinet and picked him up. He said "C - meet your new little sister! Can you say "G.M.?" At that point my mom got tears in her eyes and said "did you really pick that name?!!" When we told her we had, she said "I like that middle name the best."

Later that night (it was still Friday although it certainly felt like more than a day had passed!), DH took C and my mom back to the hotel and stopped to pick up dinner for us on the way back. We stayed as late as we could and decided again to get one more "good" night's sleep. On Saturday we watched all the baby safety DVD's mandated by the state and spent most of the day with her, and C and my mom again came for a visit. C was adored by all the nurses, who got a good laugh every time C would bolt out of the room and make a break for it down the hall. We're not sure where he was trying to go, except to perhaps explore! :) Again, that night, DH picked up dinner for us after my mom and C left, and that night the nurses were able to give me a room so I could spent the night with our sweet girl. She woke up every 2 hours or so--I didn't sleep much - I can never fall asleep easily, so she woke me up right after I fell asleep each time, but clearly I didn't care a bit! Early Sunday morning, DH picked me up at the hospital so we could get to Mass (Feast of the Divine Mercy) and so I could go back to the hotel to shower. We were back at the hospital before noon and we waited to make sure baby G passed her car seat test (she did!) and talked to the doctor and nurses and soon we were ready to be discharged!

Waiting for all the paperwork to be signed!

back at the hotel

proud big brother!

We did have to wait until after her follow up appointment and blood work the next morning before we could head to my parent's house. Fortunately the blood work the next morning was fine, and she weighed in fine at her appointment, so we ended up having C ride back with my mom and DH drove while I sat with baby G in the back seat.

We ended up getting clearance through interstate 3 days later (though I must confess my heart stopped when we got the call that we were cleared - we had just gotten to daily Mass that Thursday when my phone rang, and I saw our agency on the caller ID. I stepped out and called the agency back, and was so relieved when I was told that we had cleared interstate. I was so afraid G's birthmother had changed her mind! We still decided to stay a few days so that DH's family could meet her before we headed home.

Four (plus) months later... we are so in love with our sweet girl. We have been so blessed by the gift of her life!!

G's newborn & family photos

The lovely Mischa shared her talents with us a few weeks ago--she did C's 1-year photos last year--and we happily welcomed her into our home to take newborn photos of Baby G and some family photos as well! We are thrilled with the results - she managed to capture the joy and energy of C and our delight in sweet baby G. Thanks, M, for a wonderful morning!

Siblings!!

He made a better sound his first time than I did the first time I tried to play a trumpet in college!

First lesson.

so focused- I love this one!

His latest fascination is cars. He can play with one for hours!

Hello there!

17 months!

I'm a little late posting this, but I can't believe C is 17 months! He is such a delight. Here are his stats:

Height: 33 inches, I think. It's hard to get him to stretch out on the floor on the yard stick!

Weight: Around 27 pounds. Holding steady. I have no idea how given how much he eats, but then I look at him running around from the time he gets up to the time he goes to bed and figure he's burning it off and then some!

Clothes: Mostly 24 month clothes, although he still fits into some 18-mo shirts - depends on the brand. Just bought some new shoes - size 7 and a pair of Crocs, size 6/7.  And I scored big at a local consignment sale- jeans, pants, a winter coat, a winter vest, some shirts and PJs size 24 months and 2T. Since he wears cloth diapers the 2T pants fit better around his rear, but they are too long. I'll probably end up hemming them rather than just folding them up.

Eats: Everything. Literally. For a while he wasn't too crazy about salmon - but maybe it was because we still mixed it with avocado. He started asking for it when we grilled it a few weeks back and hasn't turned back. Yay! He loves butternut squash and points to it when I open the fridge, and raw green peppers. I am seriously amazed - I didn't like green peppers myself until a few years ago. If it doesn't eat him first, he'll eat it.

Health: We were playing with his diet for a bit this summer- he got eczema late last spring which we attributed to strawberries. It didn't seem to go completely away, but now it seems more like dry skin, rather than the eczema. As long as I lotion him after each bath, and sometimes in the morning as well, his skin looks good. Also, he got his first "illness" in August. The only symptom was really messy diapers - which gave him a bit of a yeast infection when he made a mess in the middle of the night and didn't fuss to wake us up. By the time I changed him in the morning, poor thing was not in good shape. An anti-fungal cream worked well. The messy diapers were caused by a very small and rare bug - cryptosporidium. Kind of crazy - the health department even called because it is so rare. We figured it would be almost impossible to track down the source - he had been in local pools, the lake and outside all summer around the time he probably caught it. In any case, we actually started making his formula again for a few days - adding all the oils and probiotic, and giving him bone broth in some of his food and it cleared up. So... boo.. his first illness, I guess, but no drugs/antibiotics other than the OTC cream.

Sleep: Great here! I wish he would take his afternoon nap without me lying down next to him, but he still sleeps in our bed during the day because it's darker there. But he usually naps from 2-2 1/2 hours. Sleep at night is awesome - anywhere from 12-13 hours! He goes down between 7 and 7:30 and isn't up until close to 8. It's a nice change from the 6 am wake-ups during the spring and early summer!

Teeth: The gums over his molars are so swollen, but none have popped through yet. I've been making him popsicle smoothies and he gets one of those each day - hopefully it helps. He is fussy every now and then, but it's not bad.

What I love about this age: He is SO affectionate these days - always coming over to give me kisses... on my knees if I'm sitting down... it's so, so sweet. And sometimes when I tell him no, haha. I tell him "no", he pauses, then comes over and hugs my leg and gives me a kiss. "Why do you tell me no, Mama? I love you, I love you, smooch, smooch." What a charmer. :) Also, I love that he is so full of energy. He wakes up cheerful most days and gives me a huge grin and jumps up and down when I go in to get him out of bed in the morning. He runs and runs and runs around the house. His latest is running around things - usually a chair or his learning tower in the kitchen. He's started climbing, and stepping on and off curbs without holding onto anything. He LOVES playing the piano. He'll sit on the bench and plunk away for up to 20 minutes sometimes. And he loves going into our garage - our "gym" and imitating me or DH.

Words: The usual,  - Dada, Mama, Ball, "E-sus", "icky", my sis R's nickname, and I forget what else. He sometimes sings when he plays the piano - random syllables, but I love it. And he'll sing back to me the five note solfege pattern - so, fa, mi, re, do. (Always descending, no ascending notes yet). Sometimes he absolutely nails the pitches too! Woo-hoo for a little singer! He's learned to sign "more" and "please" consistently, which makes for a less whiny mealtime when he wants more!

Some photos from the last few weeks/weekends:

Running with Daddy at the park

I know I cut off his head on this one, but I love that grin!

Happy little boy :)

A trip to visit family last weekend:

 Holding sweet cousin, M. :)

On the move

More on the move. It's blurry, but I still love this shot.

An attempt at an official "17 months" pose.

And... fail.

Loves Auntie R!

And finally... because ONE has been such fun...

On our way to the post office...

That's right! We're ready for #2!!! :)

It's Not About Me

Every now and then I come across a new (to-me) adoption blog and it's as though the author reached in my head and heart and put words to the emotions I'm unable to describe or explain.

In the 14 - almost 15! - months that we've had C, adoption is something I think about every day. Not because I feel any less toward C, as if giving birth to him would have made him more special. He is my son. It's that I remember that there is another woman to whom I owe everything. Every joy that I have experienced as a mother has come at a great cost to her. My joy came through her pain. I know she doesn't regret her decision - she has told me as much. In a beautiful way, she told me that my husband and I deserved the blessing - the gift that is a child. But she has also shared that there are those times when she is sad; when she misses him. How could she not??

The best is often brought about at the cost of great pain. As a child, it was hard for me to understand why Good Friday was called "Good." God was crucified. It's good because through that pain, through His Cross, Christ redeemed us.

Adoption comes from a loss - a loss of C's first family, of his first mother. Sometimes it just breaks my heart that he will know that pain someday. Now he is too young, completely unaware of his story. But someday, that pain will be there. I hope the love he feels from me and my husband, as well as his birth family, will help ease that pain.

C has been saying "mama" and "dada" for a while now. He tries to repeat words back to us when we ask him to - sometimes what comes out is pretty funny. :) Last week my husband and I realized that he is very clearly saying one word. He says it over and over again. "E-sus." Jesus. He recognizes Jesus in the Sacred Heart statue on the way into a church that we frequent for daily Mass. He recognizes Jesus on the Cross in our own parish. He recognizes him in the Stations of the Cross. He recognizes Him on the Cross outside the church where the scene is displayed from his Crucifixion with Mary and John at his feet. He recognizes him when we go to a church he hasn't been in before - he just knows. He raises his arms every time and says "E-sus!" Sometimes, like yesterday, he blows him a kiss without prompting. Each time it gives me chills.

His life is a gift. It doesn't belong to me. I'm only blessed - very blessed - to be his mother and to teach him about the One who made him, who designed him for His purpose.

My prayer for him is that someday he comes to realize the same thing I'm only beginning to understand.

It's not about me. It never was. It's about Him.

Last weekend

Another busy week over here. After traveling, it always feels like I'm playing catch-up. While I try not to spend too much time on the weekends doing work around the house, inevitably when I don't have a weekend, there is more work during the week. Such is life! :)

We had a lovely visit with Caleb's birth mother. Really, the day couldn't have gone any better! It was such a joy to see her and to see how much she loves C still. DH & I were definitely both nervous heading into it, as it had been a year, and we've had almost no contact since then, other than the letters and photos we sent. But despite that, I still love open adoption. As I wrote in this post, I do hope we continue to keep in touch, even if it is infrequent. Maybe we'll have more contact now that we've exchanged emails. Only time will tell.

DH & I thank you all for your prayers for our visit! I'm sure that things went smoothly in part based on your prayers!! :)

Other than the visit, we're settling into summer over here. I LOVE having our local farmer's market back - we had to travel a bit more for one during the winter and DH & I would go on Saturdays with C. We tried to limit it to once a month - we were the ones buying 10-12 dozen eggs, haha - but we always seemed to pick the coldest weekends to go! Now that summer is here, the Thursday one I like better is back open, and C and I go in the mornings before his nap. I'm trying to buy almost all our food there - we've had delicious squash, potatoes, blueberries, strawberries, asparagus and of course a lot of meat and eggs. :) Yesterday, I was washing up the strawberries and blueberries and C was walking around the kitchen, occasionally getting samples of blueberries. At one point I looked over and he was munching on the green stem of an onion! City girl here - I never knew that onions had those green stalks attached to them. I pulled off the one C munched on and sliced up a bunch of the rest for our eggs in the morning. As I tried to fasten the container (holding C in one arm as he didn't want to be put down), I dropped it. Slices of onion went everywhere, and he dove right in to help me pick them up by eating them. I grabbed several of them out of his hand, but he got another one in his mouth and was running out of the kitchen so I couldn't take the last one. As he was running, I heard him happily crunching with his teeth. :) Onions and blueberries... what a combination!

Happy Friday everyone! :)

Adoption - Discernment

Questions for Adoptive Mothers -- or those Discerning Adoption:

1.  How did you know when to begin the adoption process?
DH & I had been trying to conceive for 3 1/2 years by the time we started to consider looking into adoption. We always talked about wanting a large family and we were open to life from the beginning of our marriage. I had already had 1 surgery to remove adhesions from 2 prior surgeries- a colectomy due to Crohn's disease. We really felt like we were coming to the end of treatment for IF - at least our options. Before we did decide on applying with the agency we chose, I decided to go through 2 more surgeries with my doctor (who had said after his first surgery with me that he recommended another). I didn't want regrets following me into adoption. We felt we were being open to life no matter how it came to us and we left that part up to God.

2.  Did you ever feel like you failed at TTC (and were giving up "trying") so that's why you adopted?  What suggestions do you have for those working through these emotions? We are still open to life if God chooses to bless us this way. :) I'm no longer on medications (right before we adopted we found out I wasn't actually ovulating - LUFS - luteinized unruptured follicle syndrome) and even with trigger shots, I wouldn't actually ovulate. That kind of led me to "give up" in a sense. I really felt that I needed to let God take over here - if he wants us to conceive, it's in his hands. We aren't focused on it like we were, but neither are we avoiding. I will add that it's really hard, after tracking my cycles for so long, to not consciously think "oh, I'm fertile now", but then I remember I might not actually ovulate. That still stings, but to a lesser degree now that we've adopted. I continue to pray that I be content - and happy - that adoption may be the way I am meant to always grow my family.

3.  Were you and your husband on the same page about adoption?  What suggestions do you have for a spouse who may not be as excited as the other about adoption? We were on the same page - as soon as I suggested contacting an agency to go to an info session, DH was all for it. I think he was ready even before I was, though he didn't mention it. But I think both of us were just getting tired of all the treatments; plus DH had already turned 40. Some agencies (not the one we chose) do not allow couples to adopt if you're over 45. That may be just newborns - you might be able to adopt older children - I can't recall exactly. But if you're the one ready? Just pray. Pray like mad! I would recommend St. Joseph as he was Jesus' adoptive father! :)

4.  How did you work through figuring out where to adopt from, how open to be, and what type of communication to have with your child's birthparents? We knew almost immediately we were interested in domestic adoption. I really had my heart set on a newborn - I wanted to be there for all the "firsts". Initially I would have said I didn't want an open adoption, yet the more we learned, the more we realized that it really was in the best interests of the child to have the option of contact - even if it wasn't much. I really felt it was in the child's best interest. Children are curious - and the more questions I was able to answer, I felt would be better for them.

5.  Adoption can be really expensive.  What recommendations do you have to work through the financial aspect of it all? Again, pray. Pray and trust that God will provide. We were fortunate to be able to put the funds together due to an old investment. I know there are grants (we wouldn't have qualified) and other options available, you just have to look. Also, many employers offer some reimbursement to the costs; the company my DH works with, does.

6.  Do you truly feel like a mother even though you didn't give birth?  If you've never been pregnant, do you feel like you missed out on this experience? Absolutely. I'm the one who got up with C in the middle of the night for feedings (and still do occasionally), I changed his diaper, and he knew my voice and recognized me as mom very quickly - I was amazed at how he would search for me. I am his mother - I'm who he knows. Same thing with DH. He's definitely C's dad! I can already tell they are going to be very much alike!! Sure - I miss the opportunity to be pregnant, but I realize that just may be the cross I always have to carry. I only pray that I can carry it better now than I have in the past. Perhaps some day I can say I no longer wish to conceive a child, but I'm not quite there yet.

7.  What prayers and/or books do you recommend for those discerning whether or not to pursue adoption? I enjoyed reading the following books. I also read a TON of blogs! :)

Adoption: Choosing It, Living It, Loving it - Ray Guarendi
Adopted for Life - Russell Moore
The Whole Life Adoption Book - Jayne Schooler
The Open Adoption Experience - Lois Melina

8.  What has been the best part about being an adoptive mother?

The joy. I LOVE being a mom. I know the wait prepared me to be a much better mom. I appreciate the little moments more, I'm much more patient than I thought I would be and I don't take anything for granted. I remember so well how much I went through to get here. And every day I get to wake up to this face....

If any you want to write your own post, here are the questions to copy & paste! :)

1.  How did you know when to begin the adoption process?
2.  Did you ever feel like you failed at TTC (and were giving up "trying") so that's why you adopted?  What suggestions do you have for those working through these emotions?3.  Were you and your husband on the same page about adoption?  What suggestions do you have for a spouse who may not be as excited as the other about adoption?
4.  How did you work through figuring out where to adopt from, how open to be, and what type of communication to have with your child's birthparents?
5.  Adoption can be really expensive.  What recommendations do you have to work through the financial aspect of it all?
6.  Do you truly feel like a mother even though you didn't give birth?  If you've never been pregnant, do you feel like you missed out on this experience?
7.  What prayers and/or books do you recommend for those discerning whether or not to pursue adoption?
8.  What has been the best part about being an adoptive mother?

Tax info for 2012 Adoptive Parents *Update

Just some info for those of you who adopted in 2012 and who may not have finalized your adoption yet...

I downloaded TurboTax (yes, I have a bit of OCD and like to start my return get my money back ASAP :)) and when I went to claim C as a dependent, I was informed that I needed a social security number for him or a tax ID#. Fortunately, we just got his new birth cert. in the mail and I am going early tomorrow morning our local SSA office to apply for his SSN. As I checked the SSA website, I saw this info for adoptive parents:

We can assign your adopted child a Social Security number before the adoption is complete, but you may want to wait. Then, you can apply for the number using your child’s new name, with your name as parent. If you want to claim your child for tax purposes while the adoption is still pending, you need to contact the Internal Revenue Service for Form W-7A, Application for Taxpayer Identification Number for Pending U.S. Adoptions.

Just in case any of you want to get a head start and get an application for a taxpayer ID# if your adoption was not finalized! And, if you did finalize and are heading to your local office to apply for a SSN, make sure you fill out your application (download here) ahead of time.

*Update:
We went to the SSA office this morning and fortunately were out of there in an hour. I recommend getting to your local office before it opens! There was already a line as I had suspected. We got there about 15 minutes prior. The docs the agent requested - his birth certificate (with his adopted legal name), the finalization order from the courts, my ID, the filled out request for his SSN, and another document bearing his name - she said an immunization report or the like. Fortunately, I had the entire adoption file with me, so I gave her the document when he was fitted for his DocBand, although I had other forms from when he received a physical. It was easy, she didn't ask any questions, just looked at the documents, asked me to verify a printout of the correct info (my name and SSN, and DH's, our address and C's name). We should receive it in 7-14 days.

Adoption: Q & A

I saw these posted on GIMH's blog, [thanks GIMH! :)] so I thought I would share my thoughts for those of you who might have questions.

When did you let family/friends know you were starting the process of adoption like starting your home study and working with an agency? 
We let our families know over Thanksgiving (2010), shortly after we had met with one agency and had a webinar with another (the one we chose actually). We told them we were meeting with a few more and that we would then decide what agency to go with. They were all so excited for us. I'll never forget my family's reaction - tears of joy and the room just erupted with excitement! I don't know what kind of reaction I expected, but honestly looking back my thought was - it was as though we announced we were expecting. And in a way, I guess, we were. We just had no idea of our due date. :) We also announced it in our Christmas letter a few weeks later. One of my best friends who had just moved from the area sent me an email and said she literally started crying tears of joy (we were playing phone tag the week before so I wasn't able to share it over the phone) when she read the news. Another friend I did get to tell in person started crying and told me that she and her husband had been praying specifically for that for us. People were just so excited. It was harder to break the news to our best friends, M & D (C's godparents) because they have been struggling with IF a year longer than we have. 

Any tips on how to share the news?
We just kind of told them... with DH's family, we tried to be sensitive because we were also telling his brother and sis-in-law who had gone through 2 miscarriages by then. Since everyone that we told personally knew of our struggles with IF, I don't know that it was that much of a shock. They all knew how much we wanted a family.

How many agencies did you look at before you decided on one?
Five. Four of them were in person and the one webinar - the one we chose. We liked that they were in several states and had online profiles. They also seemed to have a lot of placements. They were actually our second choice - our first choice agency had a statement of faith that we had to sign - as practicing Catholics, we couldn't. In the end though, that too was a blessing! 

Did you have the funding saved prior or did you do loans/fundraising?
We had some funds saved. DH had an investment we were no longer contributing to - and we used most of that. We didn't do any loans or do fundraising. We are counting on the tax credit as well as an employee reimbursement from DH's company to fund future adoptions. 

How did you prepare yourself emotionally for the process? Any special prayers/novenas that were helpful to you at that time?
The Rosary was our main prayer. DH & I also share a special devotion to St. Josemaria so we asked many times for his intercession. When DH and I were in Rome (Oct 2010), a few months right before I started my blog, we prayed before St. Josemaria's tomb and asked for his prayers. While I remember asking to conceive, I believe I also asked for us to be blessed with children. Shortly after we got back from Rome is when I talked to DH about starting to meet with agencies. My prayer was answered.... it was just that my heart really began to embrace adoption as a means to building our family.

Emotionally - part of me was relieved; I knew if we did this, we would be parents. I would be a mom. To some degree, it was freeing from all the IF treatments. Before we actually began the paperwork though (we actually selected our agency), I did go through one more surgery. Since it had been recommended by my doctor, I didn't want to have regrets or any "if only/I wonder if" moments. After that, we pursued both adoption and TTC. I felt that we were open to life and God would let us know how he wanted us to be parents. I didn't want to do anything to stand in the way of either option.

Did you go with a social worker from your agency to do the home study or did you find your own?
Our agency had a social worker in our area who did our home study. She was WONDERFUL. I was so comfortable with her!

How did you go about deciding the degree of open adoption that was best for your family?
Our agency only does open adoptions. We initially said letters and 1 visit per year, but C's birth mom asked for 2 visits per year. One has happened so far. I don't know if she will continue to want this, but we are open to that. You can read more on my thoughts on open adoption here: Why I Love Open Adoption. The agencies we explored all had some degree of openness. 

Were you excited when you started the process of adoption?
Yes! I had finished my last surgery a few months prior, and while we were still TTC, it took some of the pressure off. Again, as I mentioned, I really had a hard time stopping TTC and only pursuing adoption. Once I realized it was just being open to life in any way it came to us, it was such a relief. I really just wondered who the child was who would make me a mom and my husband a father. I still had fears and doubts (when on the waiting list, sometimes it seemed like we waited forever), but my overwhelming emotion was excitement when I thought about it. And I felt like I finally had the right to start looking at baby stuff! [It was really fun once we were on the waiting list and went to create our baby registry. The lady asked when we were due and we said "We don't know!!" Ironically, she put down May 1st as our due date and we got the call April 22nd! How's that for God's timing? :)]

Do you find that others are sad for you when you tell them you are adopting?
No, not at all. I think to some degree it was hard for our close friends who were still dealing with IF (they still are) - they were happy for us and sad for themselves. And I understood that having felt it so many times myself. But others, no - everyone was SO happy for us. 

Copy & Paste questions for any of you who want to share your thoughts in a post! :)

When did you let family/friends know you were starting the process of adoption like starting your home study and working with an agency? 

Any tips on how to share the news?

How many agencies did you look at before you decided on one?

Did you have the funding saved prior or did you do loans/fundraising?

How did you prepare yourself emotionally for the process? Any special prayers/novenas that were helpful to you at that time?

Did you go with a social worker from your agency to do the home study or did you find your own

How did you go about deciding the degree of open adoption that was best for your family?

Were you excited when you started the process of adoption?

Do you find that others are sad for you when you tell them you are adopting?

"Planning"

I saw this over on Simply LKJ. I looked at Baby C this morning and well... Yes. I'm blessed.

Forever Family!!!!

Baby C is ours forever!!!!!

Merry Christmas!!!!!!

C's newborn photos

Finally... C's newborn photos! We LOVED our photographer, Melody with Capture a Moment Photography. She came to the house because we had our own props we wanted to use - namely the piano! :) It took us forever to decide the ones we wanted blown up to display, so we just got them a few weeks ago. Here are some of my favorites:

For this child, we have prayed...

First lesson

This one ordered as a 20x24 canvas print. LOVE.

Makes me smile

Those lips!!

Hat made by Grand-memere

Still loves "Bear"

Start 'em young...

He even has Polamalu's hair! :)

Indeed.

So smoochable!!

With Daddy's hat & Great-Grandfather's sword 

See why it took us a while? :)

Our adoption story, Part III

DH and I hurried out of the church and quickly got in the car - both terrified that the birthmother had changed her mind. I called our SW... I think I was holding my breath from the time DH noticed the missed calls until she cheerfully answered the phone and asked if we would agree to 2 visits per year. That was it?!?! I started breathing again and answered that two visits were no problem at all and we'd be happy to arrange for that.

We were supposed to meet two other SWs from the agency at the hospital, as well as C's birthmother at 10 am. It was a few minutes after 9 and we decided to drive over to get a parking spot in the shade if we could and eat some breakfast. The chicken from the night before (I wasn't hungry at all really!) and a couple of bananas we had snagged from T's kitchen. While waiting in the parking lot, I finally got in touch with a few more friends. One is a dear friend of many years and she had been praying so hard for us. I told her I was sorry to call so early... and she said no problem, she was getting ready for class (she's a professor), but when she saw that it was me, she picked up right away. I told her... she started crying as soon as I said... "we're sitting in a parking lot of a hospital right now... waiting to meet our son!" I asked for more prayers as we were meeting his birthmother and over the 10 day waiting period. It was one of the best phone calls I made, other than to family. She moved to the DC area literally the day after I got my first email from DH. We met for brunch the morning she left PA and I told her about him and even then she said I was excited about him. :)

After eating, DH and I made our way to the hospital entrance (we were still early) but wanted to make sure we weren't late... as we have a tendency to be! After waiting a few minutes - butterflies in my stomach don't even begin to describe it, I saw the two SW's come in... talking to C's birthmother. I got up... looked at her, and I already had tears in my eyes. She looked at me with tears as well and I just gave her a huge hug. I've mentioned before that she just whispered "thank you"... her words were ones of gratitude and love. I really can't explain the depth of emotion... even now. It still makes me tear up and I can still hear her voice. I honestly wondered how on earth she could be thanking me - when she was giving me the best gift I've ever been given, next to DH.

We walked upstairs.... she showed us a few photos on her phone that she had taken after he was born. She wanted to spend a bit more time with him on her own while we signed the paperwork. Unfortunately for her, C hadn't been circumcised yet, so she ended up joining us again shortly after she went back as the doctors took care of that. It did give us the opportunity to talk more though, and I am so grateful for that time. She was very easy to talk to and told us stories of growing up with her brothers  and there were so many stories similar to those DH had told me about growing up with his 3 brothers. It was just very, very special.

Finally, around 11:30 or noon (I think), we were allowed back to meet C! All of us walked back to the nursery as they wheeled him out in his basinet. He was not particularly happy - and definitely very hungry! We went to a private room at the end of the hallway. C's birthmother prepared the bottle, picked him up and handed him to me.

First feeding - totally in love as soon as I saw him.

He opened his beautiful eyes and just stared at me as soon as I got that bottle in his mouth! He was very alert - more alert than I anticipated.

I just stared and stared. I could hardly believe I was looking at my SON!!!! I know we talked a little bit more, but I have no idea what we said! Shortly after I fed him, I handed him to DH to hold. What an amazing feeling... watching my husband become a father. There are just no words.

We talked a bit longer with the social worker, and finally C's birthmother had to leave. She commented that she felt so much better about her decision having met us. She held him one last time, and I could see the tears she was fighting. Again, I know C will be so blessed to know her decision was one of love. And I am more grateful than I ever thought I would be, that she wants to keep in touch.

Shortly after she left, we took some more photos as the text messages started pouring in from our families demanding to see him!

 First family photo!

We needed to wait for a while to get all the papers ready for him to be discharged and we continued to talk to the SWs. A very sweet nurse came in with his discharge papers, a ton of supplies - including formula that he was currently eating - and lots of reading material on taking care of a newborn! 

Then... it was time. We picked the Daddy loves me outfit for him to wear home... changed him and took this final photo of him in his little bassinet. 

We put him in his carseat, and walked out with the SW's - they checked that we had him securely in the car, and we were off. And I wondered... is that it? Part of me couldn't believe that someone wasn't coming after us to stop us! We stopped at Panera to get a quick lunch. T stopped by to pick up his house key (he still brags that he was the first to get to see C!) and we headed home. C slept the entire way! Every time he started to make little noises and we started getting ready to stop somewhere, he fell back asleep. We drove the entire way home -  I was on the phone for a lot of it talking to various family members and it wasn't until we were about to get off the highway, a mile or 2 from the house that he woke up. And he was definitely hungry. VERY hungry!! As we drove up to our house, I noticed that someone had balloons flying outside their door. As we got closer, I realized it was our house!!

Well... our neighbors now knew! :)  We got him in the house as fast as we could and got a bottle prepared. I fed him while DH called a few friends to let them know we were home and could they please come over to help us move our desk to the garage and to assemble C's crib. I... well... I got to hold C. :) He slept while I called sisters and parents and friends to let them know we were home!!

Talking excitedly to someone in my family! I don't remember who now!

DH holding C. 

As you can see, he went through many outfit changes that first day and night at home. :) Mom and Dad have gotten a little more proficient at changing diapers and attaching them well. Actually, that proficiency came with a little advice from my sister, the postpartum nurse... to "aim down." :-D

Our first few days at home with C were just incredible. That first night, C slept in his crib, with the door to his room open. He woke frequently, about every 1-2 hours, at which point, yes, his clothes were soaked and so were his diapers! A friend of a friend had donated a ton of baby boy clothes, and it was a good thing we had them - we couldn't have gotten through that first night without them!

Those first fews days were a whirlwind... trading off with DH so we could both get to daily mass, feeding, forgetting to eat ourselves, holding him, reading the Baby Book!!, calling our former pastor to ask him to celebrate C's baptism, visits from a few dear friends (they brought a boppy chair and a bassinet for us to borrow). It was so much nicer to have C in our room next to me. And a visit that first weekend from my parents and two sisters. I just tried to soak it all in. All the joy in the world was wrapped in my beautiful 6 pound bundle.

I still can't believe it's real... that he's really here. Thank you to all of you who have prayed for and continue to pray for DH & me. God has answered our prayers and we are blessed beyond words.

For my thoughts are not your thoughts, nor are your ways my ways, says the Lord. 

As high as the heavens are above the earth, 

so are my ways above your ways and my thoughts above your thoughts. 

Isaiah 55:8-9