40 years and 50 million lives lost

How amazing are the women who fight against the culture of death and choose LIFE for their unborn children. 

"Through moral conscience God speaks to each of us, inviting us to defend human life at all times, and in this personal bond with the Creator lies the profound dignity of moral conscience and the reason for its inviolability. It is necessary that society as a whole must defend the conceived child's right to life and the true good of the woman who can never, in any circumstances, find fulfillment in the decision to abort."
Pope Benedict XVI

Tax info for 2012 Adoptive Parents *Update

Just some info for those of you who adopted in 2012 and who may not have finalized your adoption yet...

I downloaded TurboTax (yes, I have a bit of OCD and like to start my return get my money back ASAP :)) and when I went to claim C as a dependent, I was informed that I needed a social security number for him or a tax ID#. Fortunately, we just got his new birth cert. in the mail and I am going early tomorrow morning our local SSA office to apply for his SSN. As I checked the SSA website, I saw this info for adoptive parents:

We can assign your adopted child a Social Security number before the adoption is complete, but you may want to wait. Then, you can apply for the number using your child’s new name, with your name as parent. If you want to claim your child for tax purposes while the adoption is still pending, you need to contact the Internal Revenue Service for Form W-7A, Application for Taxpayer Identification Number for Pending U.S. Adoptions.

Just in case any of you want to get a head start and get an application for a taxpayer ID# if your adoption was not finalized! And, if you did finalize and are heading to your local office to apply for a SSN, make sure you fill out your application (download here) ahead of time.

*Update:
We went to the SSA office this morning and fortunately were out of there in an hour. I recommend getting to your local office before it opens! There was already a line as I had suspected. We got there about 15 minutes prior. The docs the agent requested - his birth certificate (with his adopted legal name), the finalization order from the courts, my ID, the filled out request for his SSN, and another document bearing his name - she said an immunization report or the like. Fortunately, I had the entire adoption file with me, so I gave her the document when he was fitted for his DocBand, although I had other forms from when he received a physical. It was easy, she didn't ask any questions, just looked at the documents, asked me to verify a printout of the correct info (my name and SSN, and DH's, our address and C's name). We should receive it in 7-14 days.

My little Beethoven :)

Don't let the smile fool you. He was hard at work! It took many tries to even get him to look at me, haha! :) Happy Friday, everyone!

Adoption: Q & A

I saw these posted on GIMH's blog, [thanks GIMH! :)] so I thought I would share my thoughts for those of you who might have questions.

When did you let family/friends know you were starting the process of adoption like starting your home study and working with an agency? 
We let our families know over Thanksgiving (2010), shortly after we had met with one agency and had a webinar with another (the one we chose actually). We told them we were meeting with a few more and that we would then decide what agency to go with. They were all so excited for us. I'll never forget my family's reaction - tears of joy and the room just erupted with excitement! I don't know what kind of reaction I expected, but honestly looking back my thought was - it was as though we announced we were expecting. And in a way, I guess, we were. We just had no idea of our due date. :) We also announced it in our Christmas letter a few weeks later. One of my best friends who had just moved from the area sent me an email and said she literally started crying tears of joy (we were playing phone tag the week before so I wasn't able to share it over the phone) when she read the news. Another friend I did get to tell in person started crying and told me that she and her husband had been praying specifically for that for us. People were just so excited. It was harder to break the news to our best friends, M & D (C's godparents) because they have been struggling with IF a year longer than we have. 

Any tips on how to share the news?
We just kind of told them... with DH's family, we tried to be sensitive because we were also telling his brother and sis-in-law who had gone through 2 miscarriages by then. Since everyone that we told personally knew of our struggles with IF, I don't know that it was that much of a shock. They all knew how much we wanted a family.

How many agencies did you look at before you decided on one?
Five. Four of them were in person and the one webinar - the one we chose. We liked that they were in several states and had online profiles. They also seemed to have a lot of placements. They were actually our second choice - our first choice agency had a statement of faith that we had to sign - as practicing Catholics, we couldn't. In the end though, that too was a blessing! 

Did you have the funding saved prior or did you do loans/fundraising?
We had some funds saved. DH had an investment we were no longer contributing to - and we used most of that. We didn't do any loans or do fundraising. We are counting on the tax credit as well as an employee reimbursement from DH's company to fund future adoptions. 

How did you prepare yourself emotionally for the process? Any special prayers/novenas that were helpful to you at that time?
The Rosary was our main prayer. DH & I also share a special devotion to St. Josemaria so we asked many times for his intercession. When DH and I were in Rome (Oct 2010), a few months right before I started my blog, we prayed before St. Josemaria's tomb and asked for his prayers. While I remember asking to conceive, I believe I also asked for us to be blessed with children. Shortly after we got back from Rome is when I talked to DH about starting to meet with agencies. My prayer was answered.... it was just that my heart really began to embrace adoption as a means to building our family.

Emotionally - part of me was relieved; I knew if we did this, we would be parents. I would be a mom. To some degree, it was freeing from all the IF treatments. Before we actually began the paperwork though (we actually selected our agency), I did go through one more surgery. Since it had been recommended by my doctor, I didn't want to have regrets or any "if only/I wonder if" moments. After that, we pursued both adoption and TTC. I felt that we were open to life and God would let us know how he wanted us to be parents. I didn't want to do anything to stand in the way of either option.

Did you go with a social worker from your agency to do the home study or did you find your own?
Our agency had a social worker in our area who did our home study. She was WONDERFUL. I was so comfortable with her!

How did you go about deciding the degree of open adoption that was best for your family?
Our agency only does open adoptions. We initially said letters and 1 visit per year, but C's birth mom asked for 2 visits per year. One has happened so far. I don't know if she will continue to want this, but we are open to that. You can read more on my thoughts on open adoption here: Why I Love Open Adoption. The agencies we explored all had some degree of openness. 

Were you excited when you started the process of adoption?
Yes! I had finished my last surgery a few months prior, and while we were still TTC, it took some of the pressure off. Again, as I mentioned, I really had a hard time stopping TTC and only pursuing adoption. Once I realized it was just being open to life in any way it came to us, it was such a relief. I really just wondered who the child was who would make me a mom and my husband a father. I still had fears and doubts (when on the waiting list, sometimes it seemed like we waited forever), but my overwhelming emotion was excitement when I thought about it. And I felt like I finally had the right to start looking at baby stuff! [It was really fun once we were on the waiting list and went to create our baby registry. The lady asked when we were due and we said "We don't know!!" Ironically, she put down May 1st as our due date and we got the call April 22nd! How's that for God's timing? :)]

Do you find that others are sad for you when you tell them you are adopting?
No, not at all. I think to some degree it was hard for our close friends who were still dealing with IF (they still are) - they were happy for us and sad for themselves. And I understood that having felt it so many times myself. But others, no - everyone was SO happy for us. 

Copy & Paste questions for any of you who want to share your thoughts in a post! :)

When did you let family/friends know you were starting the process of adoption like starting your home study and working with an agency? 

Any tips on how to share the news?

How many agencies did you look at before you decided on one?

Did you have the funding saved prior or did you do loans/fundraising?

How did you prepare yourself emotionally for the process? Any special prayers/novenas that were helpful to you at that time?

Did you go with a social worker from your agency to do the home study or did you find your own

How did you go about deciding the degree of open adoption that was best for your family?

Were you excited when you started the process of adoption?

Do you find that others are sad for you when you tell them you are adopting?

Happy New Year! (Better late than never)

Happy New Year! I'm a little late to the party here, considering that we're already halfway into the month, but here goes...

We had a GREAT week and a half out of town visiting with both sets of families. It was exhausting, though. 3 days in one city, 3 days in the next and back to the first for another 4 days. I was so anxious to get back and sleep in my own bed!!!! I so look forward to the Thanksgiving and Christmas when I can wake up in my own bed! Travel was rough on Baby C too. His naps and nighttime sleeping have been completely out of whack since Thanksgiving. He was such a great sleeper before those trips! I'm determined to not go anywhere for quite some time. 

We drove back home on the 1st- yay for no traffic coming back! It took us 7 hours in the car instead of 4 when we left. C was so good in the car... but I, however, get super antsy. I don't really like road trips over 2 hours! Ha! :) 

Our first weekend back we hosted our annual Christmas party. Usually we have it before Christmas, but C's arrival made my husband have to move his retreat to December. We had our adoption agency holiday party one weekend and then hubby was out of town the other weekend we could have held it. Thank goodness for the 12 days of Christmas because we had ours on the 11th day! :) No pipers piping, but C's godmother and I helped lead everyone in some carols - her singing, me playing. It was lots of fun... but lots of work after just getting back into town. We ask people to dress up, which is fun. :) On the menu - bacon-wrapped dates, sausage-stuffed baby portabellas (I have to post that recipe sometime - I normally made them as an entree with regular portabellas), assorted sausages and cheeses, a cheese ball (my Granny's recipe - yum!), gluten-free crackers, and LOTS of Christmas cookies. :) We are still eating cookies... part of me cannot wait until the little devils goodies are out of my freezer. I don't need the temptation... thank goodness Lent is right around the corner, haha! I need a sugar detox!

Caleb's first cousin has arrived!!! We are so excited! Thank you to those of you who prayed for his safe delivery. Baby X and Mama went home from the hospital about a week ago and all is well. It will be such fun to watch X and C grow up together!

New Years Resolutions.... well, this book is helping me get off to a good start:

Mitten Strings for God - Reflections for Mothers in a Hurry

This one was a recommendation from Sarah over at Clover Lane. Even with an 8-month old, I've found myself rushing around - doing errands, feeling like I need to join Mom's groups, schedule play dates, and so on. While I enjoy getting together with other moms, I really feel that for me, to schedule too many activities, leaves me feeling distracted and rushed.

I'm not even halfway through the book and I. love. it. She touches on a number of areas - but mostly that it's good to have quiet. Sometimes I feel like I need to have music on all the time (fortunately, almost never the TV - it's in the basement and I don't take C down there except when I'm doing laundry), but I know I spend too much time online. That's one of my resolutions this year.

The first thing I did was delete my FB app from my phone! Yay! :) I realized I picked up my phone to check it waaaaay too many times during the day - that first day without it confirmed it. Ugh. I don't think I'll delete my account completely (though I have considered it) because it does keep me in touch with relatives in CA, and of course - many of you! :)

Alright... I better get crackin' while C is nappin'! I am finally getting the rest of our Christmas decorations put away. Our basement area is a mess of containers! :-D

"Planning"

I saw this over on Simply LKJ. I looked at Baby C this morning and well... Yes. I'm blessed.

Search bar option help?

Sorry... this is not the most exciting topic for my first post this year, but I'm trying to add the "search this blog" feature to my page. I can add it just fine, but anytime I try to do a search, it comes up empty.

Any ideas??

Thanks!

I promise I will have a "real" post soon! :)