Here are some of my favorites:
"I was disappointed that this banana slicer only comes in one model. It works like a charm for bananas that bend to the right, but it utterly useless for left-bending bananas. I end up having to eat my left curved bananas un-sliced like some kind of animal."
"I can't believe anyone could be so inept as to think that they couldn't slice their bananas because they bent "the wrong way." All that person has to do is to buy the model 571C Banana Slicer that is for bananas that bend the other way. Although I prefer left-bending bananas, I got both the 571B and the 571C so that when shopping, I don't have to have the hassle of finding bananas with the correct polarity. I hope "Angle Was Wrong" sees the light and removes that harsh one-star rating for this indispensable product duo."
"Once I figured out I had to peel the banana before using - it works much better. Ordering one for my nephew who's in the air force in California. He's been using an old slinky to slice his banana's. He should really enjoy this product!"
"I can't believe I have wasted the first 35 years of my existence on this earth by not having this wonderful banana slicer. All this time I have been standing there at the kitchen counter like a complete IDIOT wasting countless seconds slicing my bananas with a knife. A KNIFE!!!! Can you believe how foolish I was?"
"What can I say about the 571B Banana Slicer that hasn't already been said about the wheel, penicillin, or the iPhone.... this is one of the greatest inventions of all time. My husband and I would argue constantly over who had to cut the day's banana slices. It's one of those chores NO ONE wants to do! You know, the old "I spent the entire day rearing OUR children, maybe YOU can pitch in a little and cut these bananas?" and of course, "You think I have the energy to slave over your damn bananas? I worked a 12 hour shift just to come home to THIS?!" These are the things that can destroy an entire relationship. It got to the point where our children could sense the tension. The minute I heard our 6-year-old girl in her bedroom, re-enacting our daily banana fight with her Barbie dolls, I knew we had to make a change. That's when I found the 571B Banana Slicer. Our marriage has never been healthier, AND we've even incorporated it into our lovemaking. THANKS 571B BANANA SLICER!"
"No more throwing bananas at the ceiling fan for me! This product has saved me the work of peeling the banana slices off the wall after the fan slices them. Thanks, banana slicer!"
"I have served in the US Army for over 12 years. I can say that there is technology being used by the military that is rarely seen in the civilian sector. Once in a while, however, an amazing product is released by the DoD for civilian use. The 571B is one of those products. Although once called the M571B Tactical Banana Slicer (TBS)V1, they have declassified it for public use. I am glad to see this product on the market today but I will warn you now, this is a CIVILIAN model and not designed for field use!"
"This is the greatest kitchen utensil ever! Can't believe how much time I used to waste with a ruler and pencil, marking my bananas to get those perfectly uniform slices. I was terrible at geometry and trigonometry so it was hard for me to get exact measurements on curved bananas with a straight ruler. Then I had to go back and remove the pencil marks after slicing. There was always that tiny eraser smudge on every slice. This wonderful gadget frees up much more time that can be spent marking my cantaloupes for perfect slices--and boy do I need all the help I can get. It's even harder to use my ruler to mark round fruit than curved fruit. Hutzler, you're the best. All my friends are getting one of these for Christmas."
Click on the slicer for more hilarity! :)